mom, please

I called my mom first thing this morning. After suggesting Friday that citizens should not engage in unnecessary travel, the Canadian government has today urged all citizens to consider returning home from wherever they are.

And then the USA declared a state of emergency and extended its travel restrictions to include the UK and Ireland, which had previously been left out. America is a bit of a mess: every time Trump gets on camera, people seem to panic. There’s no friggin’ toilet paper for sale anywhere because people are hoarding it. But in Canada, where Justin Trudeau’s wife has tested positive and he’s in a voluntary 14-day quarantine, I trust the government officials.

So, yeah. Mom needs to come home. But she didn’t want to come home. At noon, sending me the following text:

“Right here, right now, I’m in the low risk part of the chart (from a mecical expert in Manitoba). I’m not sure how prudent it would be to move myself into the medium risk area when it’s not necessary. I’m happy here, can easily self isolate, have no plans to attend events, and have somewhere to live as long as I need to be here. Jen, quite honestly, if all commercial airlines decided to lock up, I have a friend with whom I would likely share the cost of a private plane home mid-April… I do appreciate your concern, and promise to keep an eye on things. Much love.” 

I get it. This is where we landed just a few days ago, when we talked on Tuesday. But now I’m realizing the only reason Mexico seems low risk is because they aren’t testing much and it seems like there’s a good chance things there are probably worse than the USA. And things are about to get real real here in the USA. I offered that she has no idea what her risk level is where she is because there’s no testing. There is no data. She could be forced into quarantine by the time she wants to go home. And what if they close borders? Cancel flights? Not only that, it turns out she doesn’t have any health insurance.

“It’s your decision,” I texted. “But without access to health care, blood pressure medication that runs out in April, and governments closing their borders, I have serious concerns. My opinion on this has shifted since we talked Tuesday. I think you’re safer at home. Maybe call the consulate? See what they recommend?”

The guidance from governments has been, until now, to avoid unnecessary travel. Friends have been cancelling spring break vacations with their families all over the place. But guidance for snowbirds who have already traveled is thin. The recommendation to come home before commercial options become limited has done it for me. I posted the question to a closed Facebook group of women that usually talks about sexism and mainsplaining and relationship drama and sexual predators in the news.

“Looking for COVID19 advice. My 75-year-old mom is wintering in Mexico (near PVR) and booked to return home to Toronto the end of the month. Should we rebook ASAP to get her home or stay and plan to extend and wait it out if necessary? Anyone hearing reliable news from Mexico? I’m leaning toward getting her home tomorrow or Monday. She wants to stay.”

The group offered some great advice that provided an interesting survey of the mood. (Names redacted).

My mom has been in Florida and it took so much effort to change her flight to get her home now, which seemed like a good idea. Now she is on a fully packed plane and had to wait in lines at the airport for hours with hundreds of other people. I think if she is safe there and has access to food and is able to keep things sanitary she might be better off.

—-

Check her health insurance. Can she extend? Will she be covered if she gets ill with the virus? Does she have support there if she does get sick or if there is an outbreak and she needs to stock up and bunker in. What are health facilities like in PV? I’m writing this from Thailand, where leaders are essentially avoiding dealing with the reality of community spread and I don’t relish the idea of either getting very ill with the virus or something else when things really start to escalate.

—-

I was in Mexico last week for work and made it back to Canada before things started to get tense here. It is refreshingly calm there but I’m not sure it will be for long. I am voluntarily self-isolating even though I don’t have symptoms.

—-

I am reading that Mexico is reporting very low numbers, but that this may be due in part to under-testing and a bit of a blasé attitude from the general public and authorities. The country may not be equipped to deal with the situation if it becomes serious quickly. I think the real question is whether you are both comfortable with the idea of her being unable to get back to Canada for a few months if you wait. Are her needs met there, as somebody asked earlier? The situation with international flights being allowed back to Canada is evolving by the hour, so the cautious approach would be to assume that they will becoming increasingly difficult to book.

—-

I think your concern is very valid. It’s her decision but if I were her I’d come back. Sending hugs - hard to be practical without feeding into the panic

—-

If she doesn't have health insurance, she should definitely come home.

 —-

My understanding is most insurance isn't covering pandemic related illness, so it may be wise to get home sooner than later.

—-

I’m in Mexico City right now. I would agree, blasé attitude, not enough testing and population density that precludes social distancing. Also, everyone handles everything here. Customers touch raw meat, then go to the next stall and touch raw fish.

Vendors handle prepared food and money together. For a non native whose immune system isn’t accustomed to it the spread of germs could be concerning. People are not covering when they cough. The social hygiene attitude is different here.

MEX isn’t screening. There’s a big four-day festival starting Monday. They just are not on board. There could be a lot of undiagnosed cases and your mom is in a very high risk population with no health insurance. I don’t know how good the hospitals are here and if they hit a tipping point she may not fare well in a triage situation.

I am struggling with the same choice myself. I bought trip insurance and health coverage before they started to refuse coverage. This is a once so far in a life time trip for me. But the reality is I’m spending hours a day monitoring the news. Canada has issued a blanket travel advisory against all unnecessary travel.

Things are changing rapidly. I am personally less worried about getting sick than getting stuck but I’m not 75.

—-

I would say get her to come back. As soon as. Wouldn’t be surprised if commercial flights are stopped soon... with Canadian officials saying, get back home “while commercial flights still available”. And Norway just closed their airports to international flights.

—-

My instinct is to avoid any movement between geographical areas. Transit is the most likely time to pick up the virus. But, as everyone is saying, access to medical care is critical also.

—- 

My 78-year-old mom arrives back from 6 weeks away in Mexico tomorrow morning. Will be glad to have her back, even though she's not really grasping the whole self-isolation thing.

—-

The advice of the government here in Quebec is for people to come home as soon as possible.

—-

México is taking no measures, even offering to take in Europeans who can't make it to the US so "they can spend their money here", not to be quarantined. If it was my mum, I'd bring her home!

—-

Our border will be closed in a few days, it’s inevitable. I would get myself back here on the first flight.

—-

The Canadian government is now saying they're not gonna repatriate any Canadian stuck overseas. Anyone who has parents in the US or elsewhere should tell them to come home, now. Doesn't matter if it costs money or they're old or etc. Bring them home.

—- 

I thanked the ladies and sent a barrage of texts to Mexico. Mom changed her mind a few hours later and, after discovering we couldn’t fly her direct until a week from Monday, we put her on a flight with a connection leaving in two days. Home sooner than later seems like the most prudent course of action. And she’s got a day to pack and prepare to pull out.

The survey made me feel a little better knowing I wasn’t over-reacting, sitting in LA all by my lonesome with too much CNN on. I don’t really know these women, but we’ve been together in this group for five years and many are friends of friends. Many work in Canadian media. It was something and better than nothing. It’s very hard to have perspective in the middle of all this. News. Fake news. Leadership. Bluster. Mixed messages. The swirl of social media.

It doesn’t matter. She’s coming home.