the mask

A guy walking his dog on the sidewalk this morning called out, “thank you” to me as I dodged into the street to keep six-feet of distance between us. I was returning from my weekly fluff-n-fold excursion, so I was carrying my laundry bag on my back and, now my new normal, wearing a mask.

I started covering my nose and mouth last week before the CDC guidance came through to recommend it. I had been looking at photos from the 1918 pandemic and realized if it did my grandparents some good, it couldn’t hurt me. It became an evening craft project as I cut up an old Space X tee-shirt I had laying around, and hand sewed ear loops out of elastic headbands I purchased online. It’s imperfect, but it works. I have since made a couple of others — both too small to wear. I have discovered that the adage, “measure twice, cut once” applies not only to woodworking, but also to sewing. Although, in my case, perhaps it’s more aptly described as, “measure instead of winging it.”

I felt strange the first day I ventured out in my mask. First, there was the disappointment of yet another disruption to my morning coffee routine. I was out the door with my portable mug in hand before I realized that you can’t drink coffee with fabric covering your mouth. And then there was the self-consciousness. While I don’t typically see very many other people on my early neighborhood laps, there are a few dog walkers and runners out on the streets and I was the only one with my face covered. I worried a little bit that I looked like an insane germaphobe.

But the idea of wearing a mask is to protect other people. It’s an act of generosity, not an act of self-preservation. It means you understand there’s a chance you could be an asymptomatic carrier and you’re covering up to help protect your fellow citizens from your germs. Or, you’re ill-informed and you think you’re protecting yourself. Or, maybe you’re like me and you’ve donned a mask to appease your rational mind’s sense of civic duty, as well as the lizard brain’s irrational call for the comfort of a security blanket.

The CDC updated its directive on masks a few days ago, on Friday. They have reversed their stance from their original advice a month ago, at the start of all this. At that time, they urged people to leave the supplies of masks to the professionals who needed them. Not only that, experts suggested that non-medical personnel would be more likely to increase their personal risk by bringing their germy hands to their faces by fiddling with their masks. The CDC says the new recommendation follows research that the disease can be transmitted more easily by asymptomatic people than they previously thought.

The change in behavior here in my corner of California was immediate. By Saturday, the majority of the dog walkers and stroller-pushers outside my windows had their faces covered with bandanas or scarves. The customer ahead of me this morning at the laundry place wore a homemade mask like mine. And the construction workers and gardeners who were bare-faced to work last week mostly had their employer-issued N95s covering their noses and mouths this morning.

Meanwhile, the president won’t wear one. On Friday, he gave what has become his typically Jekyll-and-Hyde news briefing, wherein he delivers a series of prepared remarks written by a somber and thoughtful speechwriter, before winging it in the Q&A portion. He offered emphatic recommendations for treatment with medication that hasn’t proven effective for this disease, hot takes on how various governors are managing supply chain challenges, and a series of his now-typical attacks on reporters. When asked by a reporter during the question-and-answer period whether he would wear a mask, he led by example, saying he didn’t see a need. Pressed on why, he gave a typically self-involved answer. “Somehow, I don't see it for myself," he said. "I just don't." He noted that he didn’t feel it wouldn’t be a good look for him behind the resolute desk.

It’s never what I tune in to hear and I hope every time that maybe he could be measured, this once, then cut it out.

The mask wearers and the non-mask-wearers are an allegory for how divided this country has become. I have a hunch that pollsters wouldn’t have to look very hard to find a correlation between mask wearing and party affiliation. Democrats are covering up, while Republicans are breathing their dirty air into the world.

The latest statistics are cautiously optimistic. US cases are now at 400,412, the total deaths are 12,854, and 21,674 recovered. The numbers are still staggering, but analysts are saying that the proliferation of new cases may be slowing. All of this staying at home appears to be working.

Now if only we can keep it up. I switched from New York based CNN to the local news last night to try and get a better understanding of what’s happening at home in the state of California. Between my various devices, I have a limit of about 30 free articles for the LA Times each month and I’m finding I’ve nearly powered through all of those in the first few days. I’ve considered a subscription, but I don’t need a daily newspaper and I already pay for digital access to the New York Times and the Washington Post. When this is all over, I’ll have too much reading material as it is.

But the local TV news was a tough slog. Of course, people are becoming complacent. Even as local health officials asked citizens to pause on all outside activities this week, including grocery shopping and pharmacy visits, and warned that our official statistics show a delay in what’s actually happening in terms of community spread, we saw stories of church services held over the weekend in Ventura County. I get it. We need community more than ever right now. But the way to find it in this particular moment in time is not to gather together in person. The same virtual tools that are getting us through work and school work for God, too. Isn’t he supposed to be everywhere?

I’m looking at Democrats this week, too, as we see a completely pointless primary election putting lives at risk in Wisconsin. Caught between their personal security and civic duty, people have traveled to polls and lined up for voting. Bernie? Joe? There’s a time and a place; this is not it. Just figure it out. You’re on the same side. How about one of you concede and back the other, and then both of you and the rest of the party — and country — can get on with helping to fix this mess.

But, Hell: we’re cooped up inside and this is damn hard. I went out today to get my laundry and again to pick up tacos for dinner. I can do better. We are all reliant on each other to get out of this. Literally. Our lives collectively depend on it.

I smiled back at the guy this morning who thanked me for social distancing, and I was halfway down the block before I realized it probably just looked to him like I stared at him and then looked away. The whole part of my face that smiles was covered by a mask.

Ah. Well. If this experience teaches me anything, I hope it’s to remember that we’re all pretty much trying our best all the time. Tomorrow is another day to try to get it right.